The Detouring Doctor

The jewel in the Netherlands touristic crown and the stomping ground of my best friend Fred. We are there early at 9 am on a Sunday and have the place to ourselves. We walk along a canal with reflecting views of the old church tower known as “leaning John”.

Into the main square and my life partner is enraptured with the Royal Delft pottery shop. Our credit card takes a beating there.

Fred has recommended Kek cafe by the main canal and we enjoy great coffee and a ridiculously fluffy and decadent pancake dish. We then spend time wandering around this scenic gem.

The afternoon is a complete contrast. Whereas Delft was spared in WW11, the port city of Rotterdam was not. It is only a 30 minute drive but this place is all about modern buildings and provides an interesting contrast.

Canals, clogs, tulips and windmills are the stereotypical symbols of the Netherlands. I have already featured the canals of Amsterdam. It is autumn and tulips are not in flower and clogs are just uninteresting footwear.

Twenty minutes easy drive from Amsterdam Zaanse Schans celebrates windmills. It is a complex of centuries old windmills and timber houses that has been made into a tourist complex featuring various local arts and crafts.

This is only a small country and it is less than an hours drive to The Hague, a small city known internationally as the home to the UN’s international Court of Justice. Locally it is known as the home of the Dutch parliament and administration.

The largest city in the Netherlands is also its capital. It’s a vibrant progressive city whose topography has been “sculpted” by the massive network of canals.

We arrive at our hotel near Central station for lunch and then hit the ground running. Our room has stunning canal views.

First stop is the Oude Kerk the oldest structure in Amsterdam founded around 1213 as a Roman Catholic church and subsequently Lutheran. Some strange individual has decided to repurpose it as an art gallery for modern art. The building itself is majestic albeit a bit Spartan but the art on display desecrates the building. It consists of piles of builders sand on the floor with construction tools. An absolute travesty!

A short walk takes us to Dam Square the historic town centre of Amsterdam.

Further along the Anne Frank museum the starting point for our canal cruise.

Amsterdam has a massive cultural footprint. Personally I am a big fan of classical music, opera and theatre and less so the visual arts. This city has not one but two of the best art galleries on the planet.

We start the day in a short line into the Rijksmuseum which first opened here in 1885. They exhibit 8000 objects of their collection of 1 million objects. The “big ticket” items are the Dutch masters paintings from the 17th century. Artists such as Rembrandt, Van Hals and Vermeer and even a stray Van Gogh or two which of course belong to the later impressionist school. Personally I love the Dutch masters’ use of light. Turning up early and in the shoulder season we seem to have the museum to ourselves.

A short walk away is the newer Van Gogh museum dedicated to the brilliant, mentally ill Dutch impressionist of the 19th century. Everybody knows aspects of his life story. His early paintings in Holland are here and they are dark and unimpressive. Living in France and impressed by the Impressionist movement he blossomed into the genius painter. Tragically he was dogged by mental illness and everyone knows that he cut off his own right ear. Ultimately he suicided at age 37 walking out into a field and shooting himself in the chest with a revolver. He was found by his brother and constant support, Theo

It is dark and the streets are heaving with a throng of, largely male, humanity. Smoke is in the air but somehow this does not smell like cigarettes. It is of course marijuana which is perfectly legal here and we are strolling through Amsterdam’s Wallen district, more commonly known as the “red light” district. Our more prurient friends were curious if we would go there. To those people the answer is, yes we did!

One of the glass doors opens to a punter. Suzanne, hears the price, 200 euro, almost $375 Australian! The punter withdraws and the door closes. This is a unique place. Scantily clad provocative women sit or stand behind glass doors with red lighting. Some make eye contact and engage and even wave. Others stare at their mobile phones bored with the experience. The women are all shapes and sizes but all are available, for a price. The experience is titillating and my life partner is gobsmacked!

Then we walk through a patch of secondhand weed smoke that is particularly intense and she who must be obeyed suddenly becomes woozy and I have to help her back to our hotel.

Our last day in Denmark sees us driving out to Odense to visit the birthplace and childhood home of perhaps Denmark’s historically most famous person. Anyone of my vintage will have grown up knowing HC Anderson’s works. His books have fallen off the radar with little kids today but he is very much part of even their childhoods in films such as “Frozen” and “Little mermaid” which have been lifted directly from his writings.

Born into poverty in 1805 he had a rough upbringing. His father died young and his mother an illiterate, alcoholic washerwoman remarried 2 years later. She pushed him to become a tailor. Nonetheless he persevered with school where he endured physical and verbal abuse especially from the headmaster with whom he was forced to board. Anderson describes those years as “the darkest and most bitter of his life”.

He ultimately moved to Copenhagen and started writing children’s fairytales. He ultimately wrote 156 fairy tales and stories, many modelled on people around him, some with a dark edge to them. It is thought that the “Ugly duckling” story was inspired by his life experiences.

King Harald Bluetooth (not a joke) founded Roskilde in 980 AD on the island of Zealand. He initially built a royal residence and a cathedral. By the 11th century Roskilde solidified its role as the primary political and religious centre remaining the official capital of Denmark until 1443.

The attraction here is the massive Gothic style Cathedral, the head of the Lutheran Church of Denmark. Constructed in the 12th and 13th century it is unusual as it is built entirely in brick. It is also special in that 40 previous kings and queens are buried here and their mausoleums in side chapels are fascinating.

Our accommodation was just outside of town in the middle of a farm. The converted stables were charming and modern.

The title is a twist on a line from Shakespeare’s most famous play, Hamlet. We have a brilliant, cloudless sunny day as I drive the 40 minutes to Helsingor Castle, renamed Elsinore in the famous play. While Hamlet was fictitious the castle is anything but is larger and more majestic than I imagined.

The royal family has lived in Amalienborg palace since 1794. It is a working royal palace but one also open to the public. We arrive early for the daily midday changing of the guard but the crowd is already three deep making photography particularly difficult.

The palace museum is impressive not just for the royal chambers but an amazing array of Faberge pieces donated by the final Tsar’s of Russia.

Christiansborg palace is now home to Denmark’s parliament and High Court.

The last of the Scandinavian countries that I have visited shares one thing in common with the rest, it is fiendishly expensive. It also shares a preponderance of EVs, an orderly civilised society and a climate where, after the 3 months of summer is over, temperatures drop dramatically. Unlike the rest walking and driving around there is a veritable army of feral cyclists dominating footpaths and roads. The aggression is palpable and many times we were threatened and abused by cyclists travelling faster than cars. There are apparently more bicycles here than humans!

Nonetheless this is a beautiful city, easy to get around and with no shortage of sights. There of course is the Australian connection with pictures of Queen Mary (Mary Donaldson from Tasmania) beaming down on us as we visit the palaces.

The crown jewels are in Rosenborg Castle completed in 1672.

The famous Tivoli gardens turned out to be more amusement park than gardens and a bit of a disappointment.

Finally we arrive at the Hans Christian Andersen statue