When is a country not a country?

When it is one of the last vestiges of the former French colonial empire. These countries are defined as departments of France and are as much a part of France as say Paris is. The citizens vote in the French elections and send parliamentary representatives to Paris. They do not have a seat at the UN. Of the four “non countries” I have visited namely Tahiti, French Guyana, America Samoa and now New Caledonia three belong to France.

Frances colonial record is not a happy one. Decolonisation in the 20th century produced some distinctly messy outcomes, witness Vietnam, Algeria and much of West Africa. Nonetheless these last vestiges of French colonial rule are charming little outposts and none more so than New Caledonia and its capitol Noumea a short 1 hour fliht north east of Brisbane. Fortunately for visitors the French invariably leave one outstanding legacy, to die for French cuisine. Our first night in Noumea sees us walking through a tropical downpour to an overwater restaurant, Le Roof, and has me in seventh heaven with Foie Gras, Mangrove crab and tarte tatin washed down with a smart Bordeaux.